Am I right? Am I wrong?

These past two weeks, I kept questioning myself, “am I right, am I wrong”, especially when I faced with disappointments and difficulties in discipleship ministry.

Since my own life has been touched so mightily by God, I am often compelled by the Holy Spirit to share my experiences to others. However, to some degree, ministering people is also of a social skill. Many people are open to Jesus and the Holy Spirit, some are open to Jesus but not so familiar with the spiritual realm, and others have had bad experiences and may be suspicious. Therefore, when God reveals something to us in prayer for someone, we need to be careful. We always want to speak only to heal. 

But, what if we can’t? What if we say things wrong and damage our friendship? What if we fail to deliver God’s message to them?

When these questions were haunting in my mind, then the next step I naturally took was to judge or justify myself, according to other people’s reaction and respond. Most of the time, people are normally nice and polite, as long as we don’t go too deep. But the problem is that sometimes when we try to uncover a truth, it can be quite painful, like ripping off the bandage. Under this circumstance, people are easy to feel shameful and vulnerable, even feel offended at me.

After going through these challenges, I doubted that if I was sharing the gospel in a right way. I felt I could never make it right. I was completely disqualified and unworthy. Consequently, fear came in. I started to be afraid of sharing God’s words to others. I became greatly hesitated to open my mouth as a witness to the light, and gradually lost the motivation to make the light shine through all lives. I feared for people more than God.

Then I kept saying to God, “God, I’m sorry that I messed up your job again. Could you please help me clean it up?” Until one day, when I told God this sentence again, a voice came in, “who do you think you are? Do you think you can mess my plan up? Do you think you can stop my will? Are you more powerful than me?” This message blew my mind! I was focus on our self-righteousness more than God’s goodness!

When we ask the question, are we right or are we wrong? We are actually asking shall we choose fear or shall we choose love? If we choose to love others, we will not worry about how they will look at us, but solely concern that if they will miss their chances to encounter with God.

Our own right or wrong does not matter because His righteousness and His grace is the matter! Our own powerless or limitations are not important, because His powers and faithfulness are unlimited over my powers! And even our own incorrectly expressed love to others are not a disaster, because it’s not hard for God to turn our failures into blessings!

Dear fearful souls! Don’t be afraid to spread the good news that God put in our lives! Don’t be afraid to speak the light into other people’s hearts! He loves us to do it! Why does God have us pray for what He already wants to do? Why does He use Angels when he has unlimited power to do the same things they do?  Why does He use people to minister at all when the Holy Spirit is the perfect minister? 

The answer is that He chooses to work through us because His nature is Love.  His will is the greatest good in the Universe. His greatest expression of Love is to include the objects of His love in His perfect will. When God responds to our prayers for others, we have participated in the release of God's loving power to a needy world. He has chosen to let us work with Him so we two can be close partners in the salvation of the world He made and so dearly loves.

If God is not Lord of all, He is not God at all!

I feel so blessed this year! Being part of this family is way more than I expected. The book discussions, the meals with the staff members, the life on life experiences and the trips have been so encouraging for my personal and spiritual life! Yesterday, for example, ISEEDERs and Apprentices went together to the Creation Museum in Cincinnati. It was an amazing time to learn more about Creationism and Evolutionism, the social consequences of Darwin’s theories on our society, and see the story told by a different prospective. Even if interesting, that was not what stood out to me. On the way back, in fact, we watched a movie “Behind the gates of splendor”, a moving documentary of the martyr of five missionaries, Ed McCully, Roger Youderian, Nate Saint, Pete Fleming and Jim Elliot in Ecuador in 1956.

The day they decided to go meet the people of a tribe they were happy and confident that that was the plan of the Lord for their lives. Even if that tribe was known as one of the most cruel and merciless of the region, they were not scared. They were ready to share the good news. They said: “We will not use our guns even if they will attack us. We are ready to meet God, they are not”. Wow. This sentence has been echoing in my head since yesterday. This shows unconditional love, that kind of love that lays down one’s life for one’s friends (John 15:13).

You could argue for hours (as I have been arguing) about all the reasons why these guys should have not ventured out in the Amazon forest in such a dangerous situations. They had a wife and children. They were young. They had dreams, hopes and abilities. They had a life ahead. And yet, they decided to give God their utmost for His glory. Not a little, neither a good part, but all. They knew that they had no reason to be afraid of those who can kill the body but cannot kill the soul. They instead submitted themselves to the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell (Matthew 10:28).

Their amazing example follows the steps of Christ and His unselfish love. Am I willing to give everything up to fulfill the great mission? Are you?

Field Trip to Creation Museum

Had a great time with the IFI ISEED interns and Apprentices at the Creation Museum near Cincinnati.  It was fun to challenge the students to consider how much they believed what the Bible said vs what scientists have said, and what do we do when science seems to contradict the Bible.  It was a great adventure.

The students really liked the presentation on race.  The displays actually recommend using the term one blood, since we are all part of the human race.  Most of what has been popularized over the last 150 years has more to do with skin pigment than any real differences.  Geneticists on the human genome project have now confirmed that there is only negligible difference 0.012% between ethnically different people.    

https://answersingenesis.org/racism/are-there-really-different-races/ has a better description.

See more photos at https://www.facebook.com/phil.foell/media_set?set=a.10153958616747254&type=3

What is My Comfort Zone

As we are preparing for the IFI Banquet, I am very excited that a couple from our table introduced another young couple to us that are interested in joining our table. This is their first time connecting with IFI, also the starting of the taste of international ministry! Even though I have been surrounded and working with international missionaries for four years, I am still very encouraged by their excitement of stepping out of their comfort zone and start serving international students.

I have never though too much how difficult and challenge it can be for people to minister to others from other cultures and backgrounds, but as I am having more conversations with our friendly volunteers, I understand more of their concerns and fears, language, culture, traditions, etc. So how many of us are brave enough to step out of our comfort zone for the gospel? I always feel more comfortable when I am talking and sharing the gospel with people from my culture, but when I see people from other nations, I do not have the sense of  "oh, this might be a lost soul, I need to share the gospel with him/her.", am I seeing people from the heavenly view or my narrow earthly view? As sometimes we as international students are asked to share testimonies with American volunteers to encourage them, I think I also need to pray and think more about myself's comfort zone, and start stepping out of it to see people as one nation and share the gospel as Paul did.

Hospitality: a (cross- cultural) life on life experience

Since I have started my new adventure in the US, it is the first time I post something on this blog. That's exciting!! But before I begin, let me tell you something more about me. My name is Samanta, I moved from Italy to Columbus with Gianni, my husband almost two years ago and I joined the IFI group last January, working as intern in the event organization.

Have you ever wondered what is your most valuable resource? To me, it is time. Time is the only thing we can never get back.When we dedicate people our time, we show them they are important to us. How can you get to know someone better? Yes! Spending time with them!

That's exactly what Russ and Rebecca Sermon did with us today: they opened their home to me, Titi, Tony, Xi, Alyssa, Christina, Kaini, and Phil, prepared an amazing lunch for us and shared their testimonies and life changing experiences! What a great example of hospitality!

This helped us internationals to understand more about the American culture and to share about our own traditions. Reading "Cross-Cultural Servanthood" by Duane Elmer (you haven'r read it?? Do it, it's a great source of inspiration!!), we have been challenged to put ourselves in the shoes of others to serve them in a more effective way: 

"Serving people is not just doing what seems good in our own culture but seeking out the knowledge of the people, learning from them, knowing their cultural values and then acting in ways that support the fabric of the culture to the degree possible. After taking these steps, we will have served them".

Kaini, Xi, Tanit, Titi, Samanta, Alyssa, Christina, Phil, Rebecca and Russ

 How can we do it? How can we understand other people's background? What I learned from this book is that asking questions with a sincere heart is always a good choice. Moreover, it might be wise to find someone to learn from and learn with, in order to avoid major blunders without even knowing it. It is such a new vision to me! I am ready to start... and you?

We are Co-workers, and We are also Brothers and Sisters

All of the ISEEDers and Apprentices went to one of our staff couples' home for seminar and lunch today. During lunch time, we had the chance to hear their testimonies and know them better. The fellowship time we had today was precious and great, as we are studying "Cross-cultural Servanthood", we all find that we can't not go deeper into a culture, a community, a group, or a person until we dwell in their lives.

One thing God constantly reminds me is to love my brothers and sisters as my brothers and sisters, sometimes even start from seeing and recognizing them as my brothers and sisters in heaven. They are not my cousins, my extended relatives, but my siblings with the same Father, so how much should I love them? Many times in church, when I feel awkward standing in line for something or talking with people that I have never seen before, simply because I do not see this person as my sibling, God would speak to me and remind me that this is your brother/sister. Or when I have conflicts with others, the Bible tells us to seek reconciliations with others, just thinking one day when we meet each other again in heaven, I must regret a lot for having my flesh take over me and having all the argument and conflicts with others without being willing to apologize to others.

I think the fellowship life written in Acts is very attractive to many of us, while also seems so hard for many of us. I ask the Lord to teach me how to love my brothers and sisters. Knowing that we will be in heaven worshiping God forever in the eternal life, and I want to be well equipped on earth now and prepare for that joyful time! 

How Do We Feel about Time That Has Passed

It is funny to see that every time I write the blog, I wanted to start with "time flies", and it is actually how I feel! It is amazing to see that January has already passed for this new year.

I went to Urbana 2015 Conference after Christmas Day, the most influential moment for me at the conference was when Pastor David Platt stated that "before you go into missions, make sure yourself is not missing Jesus".

Do you have the same feeling as I have that "Oh, I could have better used my time! I could have spent more time on reading Bible, praying, meditating, growing in the Lord..." Yes, I could have. But what is more important compared with just regretting for the past is to learn from the past and improve the future. By God's grace, we are forgiven and given a new life, we need to repent for our sins and mistakes, and we also need to learn to embrace God's grace and remembering that Jesus has paid the price for us, what a marvelous gift that compels us to surrender our lives to Him.

So for this new year, I want to pray for you who is reading this blog and myself that God will give us the strength and wisdom to live a Jesus centered life. Do not let the past make you passive, instead, ask God to transform our characters and help us to aiming for the higher call.