Urbana 2015

After Christmas, a group of 14 of us came to Urbana. This is the third day of Urbana now, and I have heard some good speeches.

We started today with a group bible study on Matthew 20:1-16, "The Parable of the Workers in the Vineyard", when I was reading this passage, God was asking me to reflect my heart on how much do I really understand God's grace and His authorities. Am I comparing myself with others, am I using my definition of "fairness" to justify myself or others? These are all wrong, God is the One who have full authorities on His plan and His timing, all I need to do is to ask for obedience and a submitted heart to be a real disciple of Jesus Christ. Then, the big morning session's message was on Matthew 25:1-13 "The Parable of The Ten Virgins." It was a great reminder to me to be alert and not be distracted by things in life and forgot that the Lord is coming, and I do not know the timing, but when He comes, I would not have time to get oil. Christian life is a daily journey, it's not paused or stopped after we committed ourselves to the Lord, instead, we do need daily bread to feed our spirit so when the Lord comes we can join the banquet with Him.

I Can Never Get Enough

As we are moving towards the holiday season, I am getting some holiday feeling now, wanting to spend time with people I love, being thankful for what God has been doing in my life. Tomorrow is thanksgiving, I am extremely happy that I will be celebrating this year's Thanksgiving with my mentor, what a blessing! I think one good thing about being an International during the holidays is that you have the chance to celebrate with different people/families each year, even though I really miss home, but I am still thankful for my heavenly family around the world.

What I am most thankful for is Jesus, who gives me life and walking with me everyday. This morning, when I was baking some bread and praying, one thought came to my mind is that I can never get enough of Jesus. With Jesus, it is enough, but everyday, He is giving me life and delighting my life. As I was thinking the three years since I became a believer, God has been working in so many aspects of my life, and He is still working! How amazing that I know my God is giving me living water everyday.

We may not at the spiritual peak all the time, we might feel dry and tired many times, but I know that God's word is alive. When I was studying a passage this week, I found that I have already studied the same scriptures several weeks ago, so I was thinking "Well, maybe I should keep moving on to the next passage." But after my mentor and I started our study, we had really deep discussions for about an hour on the passage that I thought I have read well, and we had several questions that we had never thought before. God was giving us new thoughts that we can apply to our life that day. I felt God was speaking to me how proud I was and even though the same scriptures can give me different delights in different time or occasions. Wow, how amazing is God's word! I truly need to confess my pride and ask for God's forgiveness, and I truly felt that I can never get enough of Him. And by God's grace that He is correcting me and teaching me which really comforts my heart, His teaching makes me feel His love for me.

May the Lord help us to grow in Him day by day. By His grace, may we be like deer pant for water pant for Him. Thank you Jesus for being the everlasting God and living water!

Have a blessed Thanksgiving!

EMI = Awesome

This past week I went to Cincinnati to attend two EMI training sessions with Phil and Samanta. It was an eye-opening time and I was overwhelmed by God's love and His power there. During these three days, I further experienced God's great power and His wonderful plan, and we were all set on fire for the gospel afterwards.

We attended two sessions, the first one was "Freeing Your Family", talking about how much we can be influenced by our families when we grow up, in both positive and negative ways. It gave me a chance to reflect my heart, repent, rethink and ask God what should be a godly family look like and how should it be functioned. We all have brokenness and wounds in our families, but God is an amazing healer, He is always able to heal the wounds and empower us to reconcile with our families. The second session is called "Dream Discipleship", which is to seek the dream and desire God has put in our hearts. I am very thankful to see some strong desires that have been buried in my heart for a long while, and just thinking about my dream, it brought me joy and happiness. I was also encouraged by the Holy Spirit to pray and seek my true desire after realizing how much I like it.

The night before we left Cincinnati, the whole class had a gathering party together, sitting around the fire, worshiping the Lord and praying together, I was so touched by God's peace and joy. We are people from 9 different nations, but I didn't feel any nations that night, we are truly brothers and sisters from the same nation, which is God's kingdom. Sharing with others and listening to the great stories of what the Lord has been doing in different people's life, I am amazed by God's mighty power. What can be better than praising the God who created heavens and earths, you and me in a peaceful late Autumn night.

Life is like a river, sometimes it is so ease, sometimes we are in a storm, but I know who is in control and who is in charge of tomorrow. I want to praise the Lord for being who He is, Jesus is hope, with Him there is joy and peace in life.

I am not Myself's Planner

When I was sitting in the office one day, for a while I thought it was 2016, and I thought next year would be 2017. When I finally figured out it is 2015 now, I realized it is almost the end of September, then I thought wow, it is about time to buy another planner.

I always make plans for myself, each year end I will buy a planner and then write down all the things that I know on my planner even before the new year starts. Even after I became a believer, I was still living my daily life strongly depend on "my" plan for a long while. If my day is not going according to my planner, I would feel nervous, am I behind my plan, am I out of control of my life? For a long while I was wondering, what would my life be like if I am not using planner anymore, how many times do I need to look at my planner each day to make sure I am finishing all my to-do-list? Am I relying on God to give me a sense of fulfillment and security or am I relying on my planner or in other words, myself?

I was often told that life needs to be "stable" when I grew up. My third oldest cousin got married, had a kid, her life is seen as "stable" and completed all the things she needs to do before enjoying a "stable" life; my third youngest cousin just got her job offer and would be able to stay at her home city, her life is seen as "stable" and ready to start her career and a "real life". Every time I go back home, my uncle would say "Don't chase some big dreams, when can you be stable? So we can feel secured in our hearts that you have a settled life." To be "stable", I used to make plans for myself, and then followed the plans, then hoped as long as I am following these plans, one day I would have a "stable" life. But who is in charge of my life? God is in charge of my life! Who should make plans for me, God should make plans for me! Am I using my planner as a planner or a reminder, is my planner a unchangeable schedule that is graven in my life or it is flexible that God can move the little pieces as Him thinks is the best for me.

I used to be very anxious and annoyed when my schedule needs to be changed, or some meeting times need to be changed because of some last minute calls. It gave me a sense of insecurity, because it is not how I planned it, I am not in control of my schedule anymore. But then God taught me to use my planner as a reminder, I can put plans in it, but plans are things that have not happened yet, plans can be changed. Since that summer, I started to replace my plans by God's plans. I am not that upset about people changing the schedules anymore, and for some days I don't even look at my schedule until night and see how much I have finished. My life is not bounded by my plans anymore, because I know that God has a plan and He wants me to have joy in my life.

My friends, I am not saying that planner is not good, I think it is very important to make our lives organized, but what is more important is to put faith in Christ knowing that even though life does not always go according to our plans, God is still in control. Ask God what He wants for us, what are His plans for us, put His plans in the planner, for that is where real security and stability come from.

When I was moving this summer, I found a piece of paper that I had when I first came here. It was a ten-year life plan, step by step, and I am happy to see that I barely looked at it during these years, and I am not following what is written on it. I know that God is changing my heart and teaching me how to rely on Him and put faith in Him. Now I really know it is not about "when can you be stable", for my life is stable every day in the Lord. I once was accomplishing the plans to feel secured, but now I am feeling secured and accomplishing the plans, for I know that God is in control and He is with me all the time, my heart is settled and I wish that my family can also know that so their hearts' would also be settled. When I look upon the cross, I know that I am secured in the Lord, and how amazing that He not only saved me but also gave me abundant life that is filled with hope and joy. He indeed deserves all the praise!!

PS. Thanks for reading the blog:) You are very welcome to comment below, and I am very willing to discuss with you! May the Lord bless you every day!

When I Think about August

It has been a month since I started ISEED program, time really goes fast! As I am sitting down and recalling my memory of August, August was really a very blessed time for me. I am very thankful that God has carried me through all the ups and downs, He has been teaching me how to be a better leader with a servant heart, and He has also provided me all the supports and help I need from brothers and sisters around me.

I have been involved with the August Welcome month in the past two years as a student before I started my internship with IFI, but it is the first time for me to take the leading responsibility for one of the three Welcome planning teams, and God has been teaching me a lot during the process. I was in charge of leading the Orientation/Involvement Fair team which included 6 days table booth on campus and the Involvement Fair day. I am very thankful that God gave me the chance to lead the whole team, we had very responsible members in the team that made the whole process fun and fruitful. Our team's planning work was done very early in June, and all the table booths happened in August.

One big thing God has been teaching me this summer is to have joy and a thankful heart when I am working on projects and tasks. In the past, I always had the tendency to separate my spiritual life and projects, especially when I am responsible for some events or projects. I always tried to absorb the words, be charged and prepared, then jumped into the work with energy, then I always feel burned out after the projects were done, then took a period of time off to be recharged again. But this summer, God has been really working in my heart to let me better understand and live my life with the sense that God is with me all the time, every second and every day, no matter what am I doing. No matter I am sharing the gospel with others, or doing administrative work without direct communications with others, I can always feel His presence. And I finally realized that the feeling of pressure and stress I used to have is because I could not fully rely on God, I was trying to get things done as I planned so I can have the sense of security. But it is wrong! If I am living according to my plan, I will never find security, but when I am living each day by asking God's guidance and have the faith that He will provide me what I need, and He will carry me through all the things, joy and relax just come so naturally.

Moreover, when I am just trying to cross what are on my planner and get things done, I could not feel relax, it always felt like work to me. But when I start embracing and enjoying my to-do-lists, I start having more appreciations of my work and people around me. After the big Involvement Fair day, I decided to just take a relaxing moment with my friend by walking along High Street and drinking some iced tea on the way home. For some reason, I felt it was so quiet on High Street that night, it might be because we had been standing near the big speaker for four hours:P Feeling the breeze, thinking about all the table booths that had been finished, I was filled with joy and thanksgiving.

I believe that God will give me a blessed ISEED year, it is a precious chance for me to have so much time and resources to let the Lord better equip me to be a disciple of the Him. So please pray for me that I will obey God's will all the time, and I will be strengthened by the Holy Spirit.

Thanks for your reading!! 

Prayer Power

In the beginning of my ISEED program, I went on a trip with Bruce Fulcher, the National Field Director of IFI, to North Carolina. Through the trip, I learnt not only how to plant a new ministry but also realized the power of prayer. I learnt about I should kept praying for doing what God wants me to do, as well as asking people to prayer for me to giving me strength and keep me accountable. Thus, I sent an email to people I knew in Madison, WI to pray for me this summer and especially in leading a trip to Philadelphia.

Some of the most important thing I was praying for was that 1. praying for deep and meaningful conversations throughout the trips. 2. praying that I also would continue get to know them after the trips, so I would also need prayers for long lasting friendships from the trip.

             God indeed replies to my prayer.   

               I got chance to, thanks for the prayer, have deep conversations with many students throughout the trip. The most meaningful conversation happened between two Chinese students, Nigel Nan Zhou and Sophie Minghui Zhou. I was able to share my testimony with them from the first day of the trip. We talked about many topics like, the existence of God, why Christian are good and hospitable to them, why is Christianity the only truth. I spent most of time get to know where they are in getting to know Christ, so that I might give them my perspective in their question about Christianity.

               One amazing that happened to me is that: On Friday night, I was having dinner with Sophie and Nigel. The conversation naturally transit into if God exist and if Jesus is the only truth. I told them my perspective and also get to know their questions. At night, I talked to Daniela about things happened and we both think John 14: 5-14, Jesus is the way to heaven and the only way to truth, is a good verse for Sophie. Therefore, I texted Sophie and told her about the passage. She said she studied this passage once before with her host family in Columbus Ohio, but she had couple questions. So I replied to her but she wasn’t replying for like 20 minutes. I was praying that God will speak to her. And then I got a reply from her, and she said her host was talking regarding to her questions because the host saw her reading the Bible by herself.

               I was thrilled that God answering my prayer by bringing a more experienced person to help me. I felt that Sophie are so closed to Christ and please help keep pray for her, for that Holy Spirit would work in her to make the final step.

            I am really thankful for people’s prayer for me, and very excited to see the power of prayer. Please pray for me for the rest of summer.

Leeroy

The Story Never Ends

At the beginning of June, the ISEED program is officially done. For me, that is the most complicated moment in my life. I cannot forget the time when we have group gathering at German Village. I cannot forget the night that I laugh and weep with my host. I cannot forget the time when I first shared my testimony in church in front of almost 500 people. I cannot forget the time when I first evangelize gospel to a totally unknown passer-by.

Within this year, I have gathered loads of friendships, no matter in Chinese Fellowship or Friday Night Bible study. I enjoy the time when we had meal together, hanged out and had Bible Study. Most significantly, your prayer and blessings is really an encouragement, which keep reminding me that God will always make me a way when there seems to be no way.

Within this year, I have grown both professionally and spiritually. Thanks for my Godly supervisor Don Hayes, who shows me how to work as a qualified Christ-life Accountant in the work place, who even tolerate my “low-level” oversight when I worked in the office in the first few days.

Thanks those cherished people which God brings in my life. I am so appreciate that you witness my spiritual maturity.

My ISEED program ends, but my story still goes on. Please pray for my future spiritual journey.