Yesterday, I heard from my mom that one of our relatives passed away. Let me call her Xia here. Xia died of disease. Xia divorced with her husband. They have two daughters and each person owns one. Xia found a new boyfriend and they lived together with the older daughter. After passing away, the guy left the family and now the little girl lives with her grandparents on her mom's side.
My heart was sunken when I heard this. Last Summer, I visited her and I told her I am a Christian. That is all what I said. How bad I want to go back to the past and tell her that God loves her so much...
My mom then told me that she has been talking to my dad for 40 days. I told her that, "Mom, I know you don't like to hear this...but what I really want you to know is that Jesus loves you..Jesus can give you a new life, He can change people's heart. I know I was a jealous and bitter person before, but He covers me with His love..I really would like you to know Him and have real peace.." I wanted to cry. She shifted the topic. I can feel her brokenness and her helplessness.
I know God has His own timing. It might take years for them to come to Christ. Oh how dying am I for me to see my family accept God!
God is teaching me a hard lesson that can only be learned from suffering and pain. Pain is truly a gift. I am learning to appreciate that. Cry out to Him...Simply tell Him that, "I am not able to handle all of this.." "Could you please reach out your might hands and heal me" "Lord, please help..."
