Urbana 2015

After Christmas, a group of 14 of us came to Urbana. This is the third day of Urbana now, and I have heard some good speeches.

We started today with a group bible study on Matthew 20:1-16, "The Parable of the Workers in the Vineyard", when I was reading this passage, God was asking me to reflect my heart on how much do I really understand God's grace and His authorities. Am I comparing myself with others, am I using my definition of "fairness" to justify myself or others? These are all wrong, God is the One who have full authorities on His plan and His timing, all I need to do is to ask for obedience and a submitted heart to be a real disciple of Jesus Christ. Then, the big morning session's message was on Matthew 25:1-13 "The Parable of The Ten Virgins." It was a great reminder to me to be alert and not be distracted by things in life and forgot that the Lord is coming, and I do not know the timing, but when He comes, I would not have time to get oil. Christian life is a daily journey, it's not paused or stopped after we committed ourselves to the Lord, instead, we do need daily bread to feed our spirit so when the Lord comes we can join the banquet with Him.

I Can Never Get Enough

As we are moving towards the holiday season, I am getting some holiday feeling now, wanting to spend time with people I love, being thankful for what God has been doing in my life. Tomorrow is thanksgiving, I am extremely happy that I will be celebrating this year's Thanksgiving with my mentor, what a blessing! I think one good thing about being an International during the holidays is that you have the chance to celebrate with different people/families each year, even though I really miss home, but I am still thankful for my heavenly family around the world.

What I am most thankful for is Jesus, who gives me life and walking with me everyday. This morning, when I was baking some bread and praying, one thought came to my mind is that I can never get enough of Jesus. With Jesus, it is enough, but everyday, He is giving me life and delighting my life. As I was thinking the three years since I became a believer, God has been working in so many aspects of my life, and He is still working! How amazing that I know my God is giving me living water everyday.

We may not at the spiritual peak all the time, we might feel dry and tired many times, but I know that God's word is alive. When I was studying a passage this week, I found that I have already studied the same scriptures several weeks ago, so I was thinking "Well, maybe I should keep moving on to the next passage." But after my mentor and I started our study, we had really deep discussions for about an hour on the passage that I thought I have read well, and we had several questions that we had never thought before. God was giving us new thoughts that we can apply to our life that day. I felt God was speaking to me how proud I was and even though the same scriptures can give me different delights in different time or occasions. Wow, how amazing is God's word! I truly need to confess my pride and ask for God's forgiveness, and I truly felt that I can never get enough of Him. And by God's grace that He is correcting me and teaching me which really comforts my heart, His teaching makes me feel His love for me.

May the Lord help us to grow in Him day by day. By His grace, may we be like deer pant for water pant for Him. Thank you Jesus for being the everlasting God and living water!

Have a blessed Thanksgiving!

EMI = Awesome

This past week I went to Cincinnati to attend two EMI training sessions with Phil and Samanta. It was an eye-opening time and I was overwhelmed by God's love and His power there. During these three days, I further experienced God's great power and His wonderful plan, and we were all set on fire for the gospel afterwards.

We attended two sessions, the first one was "Freeing Your Family", talking about how much we can be influenced by our families when we grow up, in both positive and negative ways. It gave me a chance to reflect my heart, repent, rethink and ask God what should be a godly family look like and how should it be functioned. We all have brokenness and wounds in our families, but God is an amazing healer, He is always able to heal the wounds and empower us to reconcile with our families. The second session is called "Dream Discipleship", which is to seek the dream and desire God has put in our hearts. I am very thankful to see some strong desires that have been buried in my heart for a long while, and just thinking about my dream, it brought me joy and happiness. I was also encouraged by the Holy Spirit to pray and seek my true desire after realizing how much I like it.

The night before we left Cincinnati, the whole class had a gathering party together, sitting around the fire, worshiping the Lord and praying together, I was so touched by God's peace and joy. We are people from 9 different nations, but I didn't feel any nations that night, we are truly brothers and sisters from the same nation, which is God's kingdom. Sharing with others and listening to the great stories of what the Lord has been doing in different people's life, I am amazed by God's mighty power. What can be better than praising the God who created heavens and earths, you and me in a peaceful late Autumn night.

Life is like a river, sometimes it is so ease, sometimes we are in a storm, but I know who is in control and who is in charge of tomorrow. I want to praise the Lord for being who He is, Jesus is hope, with Him there is joy and peace in life.

I am not Myself's Planner

When I was sitting in the office one day, for a while I thought it was 2016, and I thought next year would be 2017. When I finally figured out it is 2015 now, I realized it is almost the end of September, then I thought wow, it is about time to buy another planner.

I always make plans for myself, each year end I will buy a planner and then write down all the things that I know on my planner even before the new year starts. Even after I became a believer, I was still living my daily life strongly depend on "my" plan for a long while. If my day is not going according to my planner, I would feel nervous, am I behind my plan, am I out of control of my life? For a long while I was wondering, what would my life be like if I am not using planner anymore, how many times do I need to look at my planner each day to make sure I am finishing all my to-do-list? Am I relying on God to give me a sense of fulfillment and security or am I relying on my planner or in other words, myself?

I was often told that life needs to be "stable" when I grew up. My third oldest cousin got married, had a kid, her life is seen as "stable" and completed all the things she needs to do before enjoying a "stable" life; my third youngest cousin just got her job offer and would be able to stay at her home city, her life is seen as "stable" and ready to start her career and a "real life". Every time I go back home, my uncle would say "Don't chase some big dreams, when can you be stable? So we can feel secured in our hearts that you have a settled life." To be "stable", I used to make plans for myself, and then followed the plans, then hoped as long as I am following these plans, one day I would have a "stable" life. But who is in charge of my life? God is in charge of my life! Who should make plans for me, God should make plans for me! Am I using my planner as a planner or a reminder, is my planner a unchangeable schedule that is graven in my life or it is flexible that God can move the little pieces as Him thinks is the best for me.

I used to be very anxious and annoyed when my schedule needs to be changed, or some meeting times need to be changed because of some last minute calls. It gave me a sense of insecurity, because it is not how I planned it, I am not in control of my schedule anymore. But then God taught me to use my planner as a reminder, I can put plans in it, but plans are things that have not happened yet, plans can be changed. Since that summer, I started to replace my plans by God's plans. I am not that upset about people changing the schedules anymore, and for some days I don't even look at my schedule until night and see how much I have finished. My life is not bounded by my plans anymore, because I know that God has a plan and He wants me to have joy in my life.

My friends, I am not saying that planner is not good, I think it is very important to make our lives organized, but what is more important is to put faith in Christ knowing that even though life does not always go according to our plans, God is still in control. Ask God what He wants for us, what are His plans for us, put His plans in the planner, for that is where real security and stability come from.

When I was moving this summer, I found a piece of paper that I had when I first came here. It was a ten-year life plan, step by step, and I am happy to see that I barely looked at it during these years, and I am not following what is written on it. I know that God is changing my heart and teaching me how to rely on Him and put faith in Him. Now I really know it is not about "when can you be stable", for my life is stable every day in the Lord. I once was accomplishing the plans to feel secured, but now I am feeling secured and accomplishing the plans, for I know that God is in control and He is with me all the time, my heart is settled and I wish that my family can also know that so their hearts' would also be settled. When I look upon the cross, I know that I am secured in the Lord, and how amazing that He not only saved me but also gave me abundant life that is filled with hope and joy. He indeed deserves all the praise!!

PS. Thanks for reading the blog:) You are very welcome to comment below, and I am very willing to discuss with you! May the Lord bless you every day!

When I Think about August

It has been a month since I started ISEED program, time really goes fast! As I am sitting down and recalling my memory of August, August was really a very blessed time for me. I am very thankful that God has carried me through all the ups and downs, He has been teaching me how to be a better leader with a servant heart, and He has also provided me all the supports and help I need from brothers and sisters around me.

I have been involved with the August Welcome month in the past two years as a student before I started my internship with IFI, but it is the first time for me to take the leading responsibility for one of the three Welcome planning teams, and God has been teaching me a lot during the process. I was in charge of leading the Orientation/Involvement Fair team which included 6 days table booth on campus and the Involvement Fair day. I am very thankful that God gave me the chance to lead the whole team, we had very responsible members in the team that made the whole process fun and fruitful. Our team's planning work was done very early in June, and all the table booths happened in August.

One big thing God has been teaching me this summer is to have joy and a thankful heart when I am working on projects and tasks. In the past, I always had the tendency to separate my spiritual life and projects, especially when I am responsible for some events or projects. I always tried to absorb the words, be charged and prepared, then jumped into the work with energy, then I always feel burned out after the projects were done, then took a period of time off to be recharged again. But this summer, God has been really working in my heart to let me better understand and live my life with the sense that God is with me all the time, every second and every day, no matter what am I doing. No matter I am sharing the gospel with others, or doing administrative work without direct communications with others, I can always feel His presence. And I finally realized that the feeling of pressure and stress I used to have is because I could not fully rely on God, I was trying to get things done as I planned so I can have the sense of security. But it is wrong! If I am living according to my plan, I will never find security, but when I am living each day by asking God's guidance and have the faith that He will provide me what I need, and He will carry me through all the things, joy and relax just come so naturally.

Moreover, when I am just trying to cross what are on my planner and get things done, I could not feel relax, it always felt like work to me. But when I start embracing and enjoying my to-do-lists, I start having more appreciations of my work and people around me. After the big Involvement Fair day, I decided to just take a relaxing moment with my friend by walking along High Street and drinking some iced tea on the way home. For some reason, I felt it was so quiet on High Street that night, it might be because we had been standing near the big speaker for four hours:P Feeling the breeze, thinking about all the table booths that had been finished, I was filled with joy and thanksgiving.

I believe that God will give me a blessed ISEED year, it is a precious chance for me to have so much time and resources to let the Lord better equip me to be a disciple of the Him. So please pray for me that I will obey God's will all the time, and I will be strengthened by the Holy Spirit.

Thanks for your reading!! 

Prayer Power

In the beginning of my ISEED program, I went on a trip with Bruce Fulcher, the National Field Director of IFI, to North Carolina. Through the trip, I learnt not only how to plant a new ministry but also realized the power of prayer. I learnt about I should kept praying for doing what God wants me to do, as well as asking people to prayer for me to giving me strength and keep me accountable. Thus, I sent an email to people I knew in Madison, WI to pray for me this summer and especially in leading a trip to Philadelphia.

Some of the most important thing I was praying for was that 1. praying for deep and meaningful conversations throughout the trips. 2. praying that I also would continue get to know them after the trips, so I would also need prayers for long lasting friendships from the trip.

             God indeed replies to my prayer.   

               I got chance to, thanks for the prayer, have deep conversations with many students throughout the trip. The most meaningful conversation happened between two Chinese students, Nigel Nan Zhou and Sophie Minghui Zhou. I was able to share my testimony with them from the first day of the trip. We talked about many topics like, the existence of God, why Christian are good and hospitable to them, why is Christianity the only truth. I spent most of time get to know where they are in getting to know Christ, so that I might give them my perspective in their question about Christianity.

               One amazing that happened to me is that: On Friday night, I was having dinner with Sophie and Nigel. The conversation naturally transit into if God exist and if Jesus is the only truth. I told them my perspective and also get to know their questions. At night, I talked to Daniela about things happened and we both think John 14: 5-14, Jesus is the way to heaven and the only way to truth, is a good verse for Sophie. Therefore, I texted Sophie and told her about the passage. She said she studied this passage once before with her host family in Columbus Ohio, but she had couple questions. So I replied to her but she wasn’t replying for like 20 minutes. I was praying that God will speak to her. And then I got a reply from her, and she said her host was talking regarding to her questions because the host saw her reading the Bible by herself.

               I was thrilled that God answering my prayer by bringing a more experienced person to help me. I felt that Sophie are so closed to Christ and please help keep pray for her, for that Holy Spirit would work in her to make the final step.

            I am really thankful for people’s prayer for me, and very excited to see the power of prayer. Please pray for me for the rest of summer.

Leeroy

The Story Never Ends

At the beginning of June, the ISEED program is officially done. For me, that is the most complicated moment in my life. I cannot forget the time when we have group gathering at German Village. I cannot forget the night that I laugh and weep with my host. I cannot forget the time when I first shared my testimony in church in front of almost 500 people. I cannot forget the time when I first evangelize gospel to a totally unknown passer-by.

Within this year, I have gathered loads of friendships, no matter in Chinese Fellowship or Friday Night Bible study. I enjoy the time when we had meal together, hanged out and had Bible Study. Most significantly, your prayer and blessings is really an encouragement, which keep reminding me that God will always make me a way when there seems to be no way.

Within this year, I have grown both professionally and spiritually. Thanks for my Godly supervisor Don Hayes, who shows me how to work as a qualified Christ-life Accountant in the work place, who even tolerate my “low-level” oversight when I worked in the office in the first few days.

Thanks those cherished people which God brings in my life. I am so appreciate that you witness my spiritual maturity.

My ISEED program ends, but my story still goes on. Please pray for my future spiritual journey.

It is okay to not know what's next.. God knows :)

It’s okay to not know what’s next

When I first started as an ISEEDer, I did not know what to expect to say the least; but I knew for sure it was going to be the beginning of the rest of my life; a life changing experience which would serve as eye opener on so many levels. If I could describe what my experience with ISEED has been, I would say that it has been a LIFE TRANSFORMING EXPERIENCE . I grew a lot in so many areas which need growth but the most beautiful thing that happened to me throughout this year is SPIRITUAL GROWTH.  ISEED helped re-shape my inclinations and values. So many people invested in my life that I feel indebted to them and the only I could ever show them my gratitude is to invest in as well as bless others as much as I have been blessed. This year has denoted a very significant landmark in my lifespan, I could not trade this experience with anything else in the whole wide world. I soaked in a lot of knowledge which I truly believe will continue to help me grow in my faith and character.

Now that I find myself at the end of this internship program, so many people keep on asking the most familiar question to any student graduating from an internship program or college : “so, what is next for you?”  Well, I had my education goals and career plans set in stone until about 2 weeks ago when I felt like my dreams were shattered. So, if anyone would ask me that question now, my response would undoubtedly be “I have no idea what’s next”.  Today as I was pondering on my various options, I came to a conclusion that Yes I do have an idea what’s next. I know God has set plans for me and nothing in this world will change it. I know , with the Lord's help ,I am now carving my way toward a strong and bright future ordained but our Heavenly Father. I know that God is calling me to make a difference in the lives of others wherever I go, He is calling me to put my FAITH in him and TRUST that He will make a way where there seems to be no way. Sometimes, it is hard to let go of what I have lost and embrace what is put before me. I am learning to trust that when God closes one door, He opens another one ( or a window haha).

The other day, I was talking to a friend of mine and He shared the following poem with me; I hope it uplifts you as much as it did for me J

As you travel through life there are always those times 
When decisions just have to be made, 
When the choices are hard, and solutions seem scarce, 
And the rain seems to soak your parade. 

There are some situations where all you can do 
Is simply let go and move on, 
Gather your courage and choose a direction 
That carries you toward a new dawn. 

So pack up your troubles and take a step forward - 
The process of change can be tough, 
But think about all the excitement ahead 

There might be adventures you never imagined 
Just waiting around the next bend, 
And wishes and dreams just about to come true 
In ways you can't yet comprehend! 

Perhaps you'll find friendships 
that spring from new things 
As you challenge your status quo, 
And learn there are so many options in life, 

Perhaps you'll go places you never expected 
And see things that you've never seen, 
Or travel to fabulous, faraway worlds 
And wonderful spots in between! 

Perhaps you'll find warmth and affection and caring 
And somebody special who's there 
To help you stay cantered and listen with interest 
To stories and feelings you share. 

Perhaps you'll find comfort in knowing your friends 
Are supportive of all that you do, 
And believe that whatever decisions you make, 
They'll be the right choices for you. 

So keep putting one foot in front of the other, 
And taking your life day by day... 
There's a brighter tomorrow that's just down the road - 
Don't look back! You're not going that way!

When life is getting you down,
Take time to pray
Don't allow yourself to frown
God will help you see the blessings of the day.

IFI Fellowship Dinner

On April 18^th 2015, IFI hosted its 9^th Annual Banquet at The Ohio State Union Ballroom Hall. It is the most marvelous activities of IFI throughout the whole year. There were up to 600 people attended this dinner.  I am one of the co table hosts for the dinner. Another ISEEDer Angelique and I invited up to 11 guests. During this time, it is my great honor that my career mentor Bonita and her husband Merle could joined our dinner, which gave them a deeper insight of IFI ministry to them. Every attendant got to know what God has done with IFI International Student Ministry (ISM) through this dinner.

An IFI outstanding international student leader, future ISEEDer, TT Zhang shared her testimony, she shared about how IFI influenced on her on the way to the Kingdom and why she choose to enroll in ISEED program after she graduate this May. It was very encouraging. An Italian couple also shared their testimony after then. They were born in a traditional Roman Catholic family in Italy and later came to know the Lord. And IFI gave them an opportunity to grow deeper in Christ. 

On the first working day after dinner, I am one of the financial team in charge of processing people’s donation. I was touched and burst into tears by their generosity, no matter what amount they gave. Their kindly donation benefits a great amount of international students, like me. Just like the mission of IFI – “We serve internationals and partner with them to make Christ known among the Nations.”  If you are interest in various giving opportunity and are willing to help IFI ministry, please visit https://www.ifipartners.org/ for additional information. 

Live Victoriously: Masterlife reflection

In light of our last masterlife class, I thought it would be quite fitting to reflect on one (among many) thing I am taking away from this amazing, life-changing class. We were going through the second book “The Disciple’s personality” which explains how to become more Christlike in character, behavior and attitudes. It is a six week study which focuses mainly on how we should invite Christ to transform our “character into Christlikeness through the work of the holy spirit.”  During the last week, the author focuses more on how to LIVE VICTORIOUSLY.  Allow me to share with you the scripture-memory verse that was ascribed to this same week:  “DO NOT LET SIN REIGN INTO YOUR MORTAL BODY SO THAT YOU OBEY ITS EVIL DESIRES. DO NOT OFFER THE PARTS OF YOUR BODY TO SIN, AS INSTRUMENTS OF WICKEDNESS BUT RATHER OFFER YOURSELVES TO GOD, AS THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN BROUGHT FROM DEATH TO LIFE, AND OFFER THE PARTS OF YOUR BODY TO HIM AS INSTRUMENTS OF RIGHTEOUSNESS” Rom.6:12-13 .  These verses pretty much sum up how one can live victoriously (especially in this fallen world).

So why did this strike me more than anything else, you might be wondering… Because I feel as though I am yet to start living victoriously. My life has been revolving around some type of fear to fully submit to God’s authority, hence, failure to live a victorious life. I used to feel this excruciating fear anytime I started thinking about God’s authority over my life. I would start weighing things I would have to let go vs. what I could gain; basically comparing the incomparable things: There is no such thing as submitting yourself under the Lordship of Jesus Christ. It brings with it so much joy, satisfaction and strength to endure challenges. So, failing to yield to God’s authority lead to confusion and lack of the willpower to let Christ transform my character. One truth is that God will let us have our ways because He has given us the freedom of choice but He will NEVER change his ways. I needed a renewed mind from the futility of my thinking because I [like you] was bought with a price and was brought from death to life.

Going through the Disciple’s Personality book has left me with nothing but cravings for a more renewed mind; but Jesus and I make a very unbeatable team so we are working really hard on this. I want to develop a more Chistlike character which will ultimately allow me to live victoriously. A lot of us find ourselves trapped in entitlement bondage, where we think we deserve this and that and when we do not get whatever it is that we want, we start “rebelling” against God… at least I know I am like this a good number of times; that’s why I need a renewed mind.

Let me end on this note, sometimes we lose focus of our identity and goals and start looking for comfortable things and we tend to revert to the old self when things get tough.  One’s true identity is found in Christ alone. We all should be striving to be more like Christ and learn more about ourselves daily.  The younger generation seem to have time to keep up with the Kardashians rather than keeping up with themselves.  In order to live victoriously, we need to stay in tune with who we are in the Lord, Jesus Christ.

R factor - a can't miss workshop

Since March 8^th, all ISEEDers are invited to attend an applicable and powerful six-series of workshop held in Heritage Christian Church – R factor, leaded by Tom Knight. Mr. Knight is a founder of a consulting firm called Focus 3. There are many well-known organizations, such as The Ohio State University Athletics, American Electric Power, Ohio Health, Nationwide, Ernst and Young Banks of America etc.  

The most influential take out from this workshop for me is its core equation: E+R=O, which stands for Event + Response = Outcome. This equation renounce for tons of time in my mind after I attended this workshop. For all the outcomes we encounter, are not determined by the event itself, but are determined by how we respond to this event.

In the past, when I confronted some difficult situation, I always complain about the event. If I have a bad score on my test, I complain the questions are difficult. When I have harsh team member, I cannot stand why I don’t have a change to work with a nice, easy-going team member. Those are inappropriate response. I cannot change what is asked in a test, I cannot control other’s character. Why do I focus on the event I experience, rather than how to response to those event?

Now I learn to control over how I respond, but not control the event.

Thanks God for taking me to this powerful workshop. Cannot wait for the rest three classes!!! Yeah!! 

Here is the useful link if you want to know more about R-factor

Since March 8th, all ISEEDers are invited to attend an applicable and powerful six-series of workshop held in Heritage Christian Church – R factor, leaded by Tom Knight. Mr. Knight is a founder of a consulting firm called Focus 3. There are many well-known organizations, such as The Ohio State University Athletics, American Electric Power, Ohio Health, Nationwide, Ernst and Young Banks of America etc. The most influential take out from this workshop for me is its core equation: E+R=O, which stands for Event + Response = Outcome. This equation renounce for tons of time in my mind after I attended this workshop. For all the outcomes we encounter, are not determined by the event itself, but are determined by how we respond to this event. In the past, when I confronted some difficult situation, I always complain about the event. If I have a bad score on my test, I complain the questions are difficult. When I have harsh team member, I cannot stand why I don’t have a change to work with a nice, easy-going team member. Those are inappropriate response. I cannot change what is asked in a test, I cannot control other’s character. Why do I focus on the event I experience, rather than how to response to those event? Now I learn to control over how I respond, but not control the event. Thanks God for taking me to this powerful workshop. Cannot wait for the rest three classes!!! Yeah!!

If you want to know more about R factor, please visit http://www.focus3organizationalculture.com/

Inner Peace

Last Saturday, I arrived home from a school interview, the warmth of the afternoon pressed shyly on my skin, and it was very sunny outside.  In the backyard, birds were idly chirping, and all around the house there was dead silence. So, I got settled in the house and tried to work on my other school applications only to realize I had lost all motivation to do anything; and fatigue, both from mental and physical exhaustion, was draining in my veins slowly, slithering like a venomous snake. However, I had a remedy ( It was time to PRESS PAUSE) – the basketball court in the park just right across from the house had an alluring invitation, and I could not resist the temptation. I dropped everything I was doing, with excitement I was on my way.

Once there, I monopolized the court with a deep sense of admiration and possession. I rolled the basketball in my eager hands, bounced it against the ground, and focused my mind on the pleasant sounds of bouncing basketball, squeaking of my sneakers and swishing net.  Measuring with my eyes the distance to the basket, looking back at the ball that kept bouncing under my hand, looking back at the basket – I stopped for a second, pushed the ball up causing it to twist three times in the air and finally the ball came back in my hands.  This time my gaze toward the basketball was like that of a predator at its prey, and I threw the ball in attempt to score. My breathing stopped for a moment as I waited to see if it reached the target, and hooray I scored! Pride settled deep inside, and I picked up the ball with more vigor. I dribbled, dribbled but yet, after a few successful and failed attempts to score again, my anxiety managed to kick back in. The ecstatic experience I felt at arriving on the basketball court just minutes ago slowly sunk under the rush of the feelings that kept tormenting me. But I refused to give in into this temptation to stress out but instead decided to get my mind right following the steps we learnt in the “ R” Factor series class the Sunday before. I pressed pause, re-framed my thought process, and refocused to stay above the line. As Tim Kight said I was telling myself “Don’t believe everything you think”.

In my distress, I dropped the ball, lifted my eyes up to the serene sky and cried out to my God saying “Father, I cannot take it anymore!” At that moment, a gentle breeze brushed against my cheeks. I closed my eyes and I heard His voice as a soft and comforting whisper: “Hang in there, my dear child. <Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand>”.  He was there with me, and at that moment all the chaos surrounding me disappeared; it was just me and my Lord. And the light breeze kept coming at me and taking away, with it, the heat of the day, my anxiety as well as my burden. In my head I was thinking: “I want to keep this sacred moment and cherish it forever. He is my strength. He is the one who raises me up and holds my hand. He is the one who will never let go of me.”

I picked up the lonely ball and restarted my game. After I was done, I returned home feeling renewed more than ever.  I had inner peace, I was motivated to get things done and meet the deadlines; new ideas were flowing through my mind like never before. It was a great way to wrap up my day for sure.

Let me end on this note: One thing I took away from that evening is that in life we think that we may never have/enjoy inner peace in the midst of challenges and hardships; this is NOT TRUE at all. Most of the times, when I hear the word peace it seems to be something that has to do with having ideal conditions in every aspect of our relationships as well as other areas of life. Truth is that , in this life, it may never be the case. If you want temporary peace you might have it in transient circumstances. But if you want lasting peace you might really want to learn how to find it, and keep it in the midst of ups and downs. TRUE life story!!!

Deepening my relationship with God this Lent

Last Wednesday, February, 18th, was “Ash Wednesday” which marks the beginning of Lent. Lent is “a season of forty days, not counting Sundays, which begins on Ash Wednesday and ends on Holy Saturday. Lent comes from the Anglo Saxon word lencten, which means "spring." The forty days represent the time Jesus spent in the wilderness, enduring the temptation of Satan and preparing to die for us and our salvation. Lent is a time of repentance, fasting and preparation for the coming of Easter. It is a time of self-examination and reflection. In the early church, Lent was a time to prepare new converts for baptism. Today, Christians focus on their relationship with God, often choosing to give up something or to volunteer and give of themselves for others.” Therefore, in light of this period, I did some self-examination and felt like God was telling me to devote this time to invest in my relationship with him.  I want to be able to experience God’s love during this period more and more deeply than ever.  

During this Lent period, I am working on setting aside adequate time to reflect more upon the sacrifice Christ made for me, His death, as well as the gift He gives me which is eternal life in Him.  There is no way to repay God or to prove myself worthy of such a gift. Although many times I stumble and fall, the Lord can never let go of me.  I am hoping that this will be the time for me to give up excuses and give in to time. Over the last couple weeks, I have felt like I need to live my life more fully as God intended it for it is a gift from Him.  A recent discussion with a close friend of mine about making excuses made me realize that I actually CAN make time for some of the things I want to do whether it is exploring a new hobby, reading a book , volunteering or keeping up with my blog. Most of the times, I am too tired to do anything, I don’t have enough time in a day, or don’t have the energy to engage in or get involved in a certain activity. These are some of the few areas I am seeking the Lord to help me grow in. My prayer is that these 40 days will prepare me not only for Easter but also for the joy of Jesus Christ’s Resurrection.

 ^{Here is a song I have been meditating on :  Draw me close to  by Michael W Smith} 

^{https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7d_oYr-P16M}

Lunar New Year Hotpot Party

This is my fourth Lunar New Year’s Eve in the States. Without any fireworks and lucky money, inevitable homesick always occur during this period.  When I saw my friends post their picture about having reunion dinner with their family, watching Spring Festival Gala together or visiting Flower Street, I wept aloud. But Holy Spirit fills with my emptiness. With the love of Lord, I can clearly feel He is touching me, comforting me, and hugging me.

New Year Party also eliminates my homesickness.  Last Saturday, one of my Bible Study group leaders Hang hosted a hot pot party. There were up to 30 participants attended. There were both spicy and non-spicy bases for Hot Pot. It reminds me of my family. I also had hot pot together with my family during the Lunar New Year. We had many selections of food for hot pot, such as vegetable, beef slice, shrimp, Chinese mushroom, meat ball, Udon and Lotus Root. Before we had our meal, we gathered together in a circle and thanked God for the food we had tonight. Subsequently, we enjoyed our feast.  

After dinner, one of our leaders Mark shared a short message about Salvation. Then we had a fun time chatting to each other.

Thanks Lord for bringing those amazing leader to my life, which makes me feel at home. Yes! That’s the reason why the name of our Bible Study is called “You home away from home”.

Happy Lunar New Year!

News from Amity - Returnee (Former ISEED Participant)! :)

Hi all, here's a post from Amity. I asked her to send some updates for us :).

I am home!

“Jesus, please give me strength to face the future. No matter what it will be, help me focus on you. I don’t know how to express my feelings, help me to turn all of the sadness into motivation.” I was praying this on the plane.

I asked my family to arrive later. So I was waiting, trying to make sure I landed and I would be back for…forever? Finally I saw my mom, my two brothers, and one of my dad’s assistant. I gave them each of them hug. It was a bit embarrassing since it had been over one year from last time we saw one another. But it was good. The weather welcomed me with breeze and warmth. “I am home!”

The transition

Sadness quickly overwhelmed me. I started missing everything in the States, especially after my mom challenged me not to talk about my belief. I felt alone since my friends were all working. I wanted to go back to the States and get a Master Degree! Why do people act so differently? Can people show some respect? How can I celebrate the good in my own culture?

Thank God I was connected to a believer who is the leader of the returnee fellowship in town before I came home. I couldn’t wait to go to that group. It was a sharing session. We shared our concerns, our thanksgiving, and all kinds of stuff. I felt that I belonged.

I visited three fellowships so far. I was used to the Western style of worship and preaching. I knew that it would be hard for me to accept any kind of fellowship. By God’s grace, I readjusted my expectation and I started to see the good. I am still in the process of searching a fellowship.

Different lifestyle

Life is different. When I was in the States, I liked to cook dinner and invite friends over to eat. My weekend was full. I have IFI’s bible study on Friday night, prayer meeting and home church on Saturday, and Sunday service. I enjoyed leading the small group and serving people in various ways. I enjoyed driving around to do things. Now, I am back. Cooking dinner for friends is replaced by eating out with friends. Driving around is replaced by taking subway and spending an hour trying to get somewhere. God, what do you want me to change? When can I fall in love with the current lifestyle?

Where to go? Now I know!

I was confused about where to go before coming back home. But God is able! Because of family problem, the idea of immigrating to Sydney was withdrawn. I might have a good job opportunity in Shanghai. So it was either Shanghai or Shenzhen. I felt the need to stay in my city because of my family’s unbelief, my friends’ broken life and many others who haven’t heard the good news. Yes, we can share Jesus wherever we go. Going to other city will add the difficulty of adjusting to life and restarting life, which leads to ineffectiveness. I decided to reach out to a Christian organization that I knew of and see if I could get a job there. Wow, God really opened the door. They have a staff who is leaving and they do need people. We are good match for each other. That’s how I decided to stay in Shenzhen!

Hi January !

“It is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose” (Phil 2:13)

“My God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus” (Phil 4:19)  

The passing few months turn out very tough for me. Everything did not go smoothly as I though. Whenever I get the hope up, and I watch them fall every time. Most of the time, I am over-confident about concurring them. So I trust my own wisdom and my own “diligence” rather than God’s wisdom, and I am too faithful to some practical stuff rather than God. After several days and nights, I was over too burdensome and burst out. Why can’t I overcome those?

During the Master life study and my own daily devotion, those two verses give me a hint and solution of my past action. Yes, I over trust my own wisdom and did not depend on God. My life was stuffed with many other things and eventually there is no plenty of room for God’s words. What I should do is depending on God and asking him what is the plan he prepares for me. He has a marvelous plan for me according to his good purpose. He will meet all my needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. In the future, I will continuously ask God and please him.

Cannot wait for the rest of the ISEED time. 

Patience

This time, I chose to share with you what God has been teaching me throughout this month: PATIENCE.  

I am sure many of us are familiar with ISAIAH 40 :31 which says " but they who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength;they shall mount up with wings like eagles;they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint."  God has really lead me to meditate on this particular verse for the last few weeks. 

At the beginning of the year, I asked God to build in me one important character which I seem to be lacking (immensely). I have been going through some major ups and downs in my life and sometimes I find myself doubting God's powerful hand MAINLY because I want HIM to act now rather than me patiently wait for HIS perfect timing. So I have been praying for the Lord to help me to always look up to heaven for encouragement when times get tough. I want to be able to ALWAYS bless HIS name in the midst my waiting/ when the skies look dim and grey.  As I was "ranting" about how God sometimes seems to be taking forever to come through for me , one of my best friends sent me a beautiful poem by Calvin Hart which I want to share with you. It was, in some ways, an eye opener; I had to pause for a couple of seconds and digest all the TRUTHS Calvin sheds light on in this poem. My best friend also reminded me that " Flowers bloom when rain falls". 

So, my encouragement to you (and myself) is that we should always remember that God NEVER falls short of His word, we just gotta be PATIENT as hard as it is.

I hope you enjoy this poem as much as I did. Be blessed!

Here goes the poem : 

Sometimes we lack patience,
When things don't go our way, 
Then we do things that we should not do, 
And say things that we should not say.


Sometimes when we lack patience, 
We throw a temper fit, 
We lose our cool and self-control, 
And resort to scream and hit.


Sometimes our patience is tested, 
By things that our children will do. 
But remember, they are just children, 
They do not understand like you.

Sometimes when we are weary, 
Our patience won't last very long. 
Then we tend to snap at others, 
Though we know that we are wrong.

Patience is certainly a virtue, 
It's a matter of self-control. 
Patience is something you practice, 
And apply with the warmth of your soul.


Where would we be if Jesus, 
Lost patience with us, His children. 
And left us alone to fend for ourselves, 
What a mess we would all be in.


Patience is a big part of a Christian's life, 
We must be diligent in witness and prayer, 
If our hearts are filled with Christian love, 
Then patience will also be there.


So be patient with those you are leading, 
To the loving arms of the Lord. 
Good things come to those who wait, 
Your patience will have it's reward.
~ Calvin Hart ~

Living Christmas tree play

On 12/04/14, Grace Polaris Church hosted a Living Christmas Tree (LCT) play. Several of us attended and it was such a great and well put together play. It was a wonderful opportunity for me to get to connect with a student 1-1 in order to hopefully be able to disciple the student. The student I invited is not a believer yet but that was her second time to the play which she thoroughly enjoyed. Even though, it was her second time to attend, she was still fascinated by the “intricacy of the play” and was moved by the story of the prodigal son. On our way back, we spent quite a great bit talking about the play, what we liked and it was an opportunity for me to ask her if there was anything she did not understand. What intrigued me the most is that the student said she was “greatly reminded of how much God loves her” and so many times she sees herself as“ a prodigal daughter but God still loves her unconditionally”. I was touched by her honest comment and I asked her if she had heard and/or read the story of the prodigal son and her reply was “I am actually studying the book of Luke and I just read Luke 15 not too long ago”. Turns out the student “tries to read her bible on a daily basis because she find comfort in the word of God” she added. I shared with her my personal story which she found encouraging and I am hoping to have more opportunities to meet & connect with this student.

Last but not least, I was also personally reminded of God’s unconditional love to all HIS children. I do not have to perform to earn God’s love, He loves me as I am. I thought the cast did an incredible job. The last scene where everyone was dressed in white painted a picture of heaven when we will be with Jesus singing, dancing and praising His name. 

BYE 2015

Today is the 4^th day of 2015. The past year of 2014 just vanished without any trace. Needless to say, it is hard to summarize in a single sentence for the year of 2014 that filled with not only happiness but also bitterness. Thanks to the lord who give me love and hope when enduring hardship and remind me to make progress when I am complacent.

2014 is the unforgettable and milestone year. I can’t forget the moment when I received the acceptance letter from IFI of being an intern. I can’t forget the moment when I was holding my diploma from University of Cincinnati in graduate apparel. I also can’t forget the moment that I was touched by the enthusiasm and hospitality from all IFI staff and my host family. 

For the 2015, I anticipate that I could grow more in faith and speak the truth in love. I anticipate that I could get the offer letter from graduate school finish ISEED program. I endured a hard time at the end of 2014.During that period; I was very depressed and hopeless. I did not ask God for his help very often. It comes out with an even worse situation. Even now I still assume that I did not totally free from those hardships. However, I entrust God has a great plan for me and he will lead me to the brightness. Please pray for me!

Wish you a happy and fruitful 2015! God bless you all!